I'm almost ready

So I was told my testing is all good and now they need Tyson to have his done. So I just got his lab slip and we shall go today!! Wow things seem to be moving forward!! Getting very excited too. I have to talk to the RE on Friday! I hope to have some dates to report after that.

Oh and I wanted to share some cute Christmas pictures of my grand kids. They are so darn cute. Poor Tristen didn't want his picture done with the big guy though.

What? I may be getting testing soon...

Ok so remember way back when I had a couple from England that wants me to be there GS? Well guess what? After what seems to have been a long wait, well it was a long wait. They now have been cleared by their new clinic in Connecticut and I should be getting my testing set up soon. I have already been given an RX for birth control so this is improvement.lol
I spoke to the nurse Jill and she called my rx in and said they are just waiting for them to go over my records and  let me know what I need done. So maybe some time this week I may have some more news.
It's been like 3 months. The agency had to get things done between the ip's and me, then the we had to set up a consult but they were on vacation. Then I get that then it was waiting on the old clinic to set up a consult with the ip's. That took another 3 weeks. Then a week later I find out they aren't going to use him after all and are now looking a new one. I then find out they found one but had to wait a couple weeks for the new consult. That was done on Thanksgiving and now things are on the go. They just have to get me and the ED on the same schedule too. Gosh I wonder how long this will be?

Had a dream about my TS surro bub

So my TS surro bub is turning 16 in April. I have never met him since they left a few days after birth. I do have contact with his family and I respect their choices. They have said for years and years they are going to tell him and each time she says she's going to tell him it's going to be soon and expect a knock at the door as she is sure he will want to come meet me and "his sisters'. Those are her words.
Years have gone by and she still hasn't said anything. I just figure one day she will be I am worried how he will handle it.
Well now they are expecting a baby girl in just a few weeks with their new TS. As of a month ago mom says she still hasn't said anything and planned to when dad was home, he travels a lot, but then the bad weather happened in Va. where the live and they had flooding. Then dad had to leave again.
I was like really your about to bring home a baby and he has no clue still? She said when dad gets back they will sit him down to tell him.
Does this mean they haven't even set up a nursery for the new baby?
I am so worried how he will react I am dreaming about it. I just don't want him to be upset with me or his parents. I feel he will. She says no he will be fine. Well how can she be so sure? She hasn't ever had to find out her parents weren't her birth parents. He will not be prepared to here this I am afraid.
Ugh!! I adore them I really do but they are not seeing the full picture. I know I have no clue how he will be either as I don't know him. I just don't know anything.

And here I sit

Things seem to be all about wait and see. It's either for one reason or another. So I sit and wait for things to come. What is meant to be will be.

On top of all the waiting my father in law passed away. He has been fighting cancer for a long time. We even went to see him on what was to be his death bed way back in July. He defied the doctors by getting better and getting out of the hospice and going home. He did very well too. The cancer didn't get better though. So he went in for chemo on Wed.  10/26/11 and passed on Wed. 11/2/11. He was loved by two sons, two grand daughters and two great grand kids. Not to mention me and lots of friends.
My poor husband is heart broken to find out he left his things to an ex girlfriend but not much we can do about that. He did what he wanted I guess. So we will be left with memories and nothing to pass down.

The search continues

Somewhere out there is my couple (or single) parent. I do believe they are there looking for me too. I have come across a few possibilities but nothing set for sure. I hope soon. I want to help someone special to have the baby of their dreams.
I have also met quite a few great people in my search. So many I wish for them to find their perfect surro. I can't imagine what it is like to be on the other side. The heartache they must feel each day knowing they have to have someone else help them. Someone who starts out being a complete stranger but with hope becomes more than a stranger, but the one to help them be parents.
Cost seems to be a huge factor for most. I understand it cost so much for them. I understand they have probably spent thousands just trying to have a baby before getting to the point that they need a surro. It can't be easy.
I pray ever night for those in need and for me to find my perfect match. I will keep looking and hope to move forward soon.

Future?

Still not much to say on my surrogacy. I have been in touch with a few possibilities but noting has come from them. Meeting up with someone in a couple weeks and will see how that goes.
I have seen my last IM on FB and really miss her. I wish we could have worked together. Can't believe how others got so involved.
I went to my first same sex wedding Sunday. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed the ceremony and the party after. I danced for a couple hours. I met some great people too. I got to meet the bride's IFs she had two boys for. So nice.
The grand kids are growing like weeds. Tristen turns 3 this Sat. Can't believe how fast that went. Khloe is over 4 months now.

Quiet

So things are very quiet on the surrogacy end for me. Waiting to hear how things pan out. Looking and hoping. It's not easy. I am just as impatient as the other person. In surrogacy it's just has to be something you learn to accept.
You hear something hopeful then nothing at all. It's very frustrating. I prefer to know what's going on and not wait for it. I am thinking since there is nothing good to report they choose to say nothing. To me I like to know if there is something I can do to help it out.
Replying to adds and getting no reply back at all is just rude. I don't understand why you can't acknowledge getting the info and thank the person for their time but you aren't interested. This is much better than ignoring them.
If the shoe was on the other foot??? I am a believer of do onto others as you would want done onto yourself.

It's so sad.

There has been so much negativeness about surrogacy in the news lately. It's heartbreaking to see something I love so much being treated in such a manor.
It's such a beautiful gift to give to another couple to become a family. It's a shame some went the wrong path and took advantage of others. I am glad they are stopped but the news is causing so much harm to those who didn't break the law. Who took the right path.
I hope it goes away soon and we can try to continue to help others legally!

looking again

It saddens me that I have to say I am looking to match again. I do believe there is a reason for everything and hopefully we both will find a new match soon.

I am waiting to see if I will be matched again or look on my own. I have all testing done though and I am ready to go. Lets see if anyone else is.lol

:-(

Well not what I was hoping for. I am waiting for the official word but it sounds like the end is very near. I hate hearing this. I guess there is always a reason for things to happen, but it still hurts. I feel awful it's come to this. I hold no grudges and only hope for the best for all of us.

One bumpy ride

So many things going on not even sure where to start.
First is we went into contracts. Bad thing is we went into contracts. From one attorney refusing to keep things in that was agreed on from day one. Stating laws. When there is still always a way to have them in if worded correctly.
Then one attorney asking to have it switched to a local attorney to be able to state the laws here. Then to have another doing a counter offer that was never expected to be accepted but to have the first attorney rethink things and add back what is to be in it from the beginning.
I believe it's causes all party's to have worries when in reality if the parties involved were sitting at a table they could have it all worked out with no issues. It's just sad it's gotten like this and I hope that things get worked out soon. I know I am hurting and I am quite sure she is too. If it does get worked out soon then great if not then we may be onto new journeys. I know this isn't what I want.
I do believe everyone involved is really trying so this is a good sign.

On top of that my father-in-law is dying of cancer. He went into hospice last Friday. He was completely incoherent and is now up talking, walking and asking to go home. This is just crazy how it's going. We know the health is still the same as he is still dying from cancer but he is just such a strong man he isn't going down with out a fight.lol It's quite the emotional ride that is for sure. Last weekend we are talking about canceling his things like direst tv, news papers, closing up apartment, dumping old meds down the toilet. To now saying well crap he's gonna be mad when he gets home.lol There is just no book on what you should do and all we have done is to do our best for him. We offered for him to return home with us. He only wants to go to his place. I don't think that is wise as he really does need help all day long. Guess will see what the future brings.

The family is doing good. The grand kids are growing up so fast.

One good thing today

I have been approved for health insurance!!! Not just major medical either. I will now have maternity coverage!! I am so excited! I was worried when I first heard I was denied insurance from the major group here. I thought my chances of continue on was over. Then found out about this pre-existing plan and that it's good for me and nothing against surrogacy got me hopeful again. It only took less than two weeks too. I was very happy for that as when I first called I was told it could take 5-6 weeks.
Now I am just hoping the contract issues can be cleared. I know things have been going on behind the scenes and my attorney was doing some research. She found some things out last night and is calling me today to discuss them. I sure hope it's good news.
I just want to help MaryEllen have baby number 2. I am so ready as is she.

Wish us luck.

Ups and Downs

So if there is something that can go wrong it seems to happen in waves.lol
 I had my fluid u/s done and got the all clear. I was so happy. I mean there could have been a polyp or something else that could have caused us to hault or pause. Thankfully they were happy to see my uterus is in good shape. The only down fall is I have been bleeding while on the pill for 3 weeks. Not fun let me tell ya. They took me off the pill and put me on two estrogen patches from Wed. to Sat. and if still bleeding (which I am) then put two more on. They say this will do the trick but I am not so sure anymore. UGH! I hope it does. Then I start the pill again.
Then I got word that the insurance I applied for that was asked if they would decline me for having GD in the past did just that declined me. UGH! It took them long enough to let me know. So that put a huge scare in me. I had the broker contacting other insurances but they too all said they would decline me for that or a couple other stupid things.
Then she called with good news. There is a new insurance that is desinged for those who have a pre-existing condition, been turned down by an insurance, and no insurance for at least 6 months. I fit the bill! So I applied that nigh and had to have my Dr. say I had one of the conditions and send in my letter from the other insurance that they declined me. The good thing also it's cheaper and it covers maternity when the other wasn't going to unless there was some major medical reason. So I am happy and I see no reason why I wouldn't get this one now.
Then my IM's attorney did as promised had the contracts done before the end of the week. The only thing is she left out lots of things that the agency asked to have in and lots of things I need in it. My attorney said no way are we signing this until it's fixed. Then it seem to be going down hill even more with the other attorney saying no. Um hello, why not? I guess things are going on behind the scenes as my attorney today said there was more added but still not quite right but she was looking into things. So I hope this a good sign.
I just want to have things go smooth now. My poor IM is just as excited and eager too. We have the ED ready to do things now as I think she started her period so now it's time for her to be checked and started. We don't need any more stress.
Speaking of stress I am hopeful to be rid of that soon too. I hear my clinic offers massage and acupuncture and my IM says to get it done. She had this for her cycles and believes it's a good thing. I have never had this so I am really looking forward to trying it out! She is such a sweet lady. I so can't wait to get this thing going and hope to have first time success and enjoy this journey with her and her DD.

In my home life, it's been busy! Having two little ones at home is fun but noisy.lol Tristen is still trying to potty train, and we found out he will be getting assessed for her speech and any other issue he may or may not have. I am excited for him. I think he tries so hard to communicate but sometimes it's just so hard for him.
Khloe is still dealing with reflux but she is doing better with the pain. She is going to see a GI in just over a week. Yay!
My baby (katy) turns 20 in just over a week too. Time flies by I swear I remember her following me around everywhere.

Moving right along

So MaryEllen has chosen her ED and the ED has accepted!. The contracts are being done by lawyer now. The consult with the clinic was today and she likes the RE and the RE said we will get a call Tues from the nurse coordinator to get me in for my testing. MaryEllen is coming Tues. and meeting me on Wed. At this time she may go meet everyone at the clinic too. I know she will be very happy with the clinic. Hope that July is the month we can do our first transfer. Will see. Oh and my insurance papers are done and I am just waiting for the check to come and that part will be done too. 

I just can't wait to meet her. She just seems so easy going with a big heart. I really think she and I will be a great team. Plus how cool it is to have a clinic to get things going for us in such smooth manner. I am really pleased with working with Simple Surrogacy. They have kept up with things and having an IM that is doing her part too makes it nice!

MATCHED!!

Ok it's official. I am matched to a this wonderful lady in NY named MaryEllen.(she and I both agree to using our names). She has a little girl 3 and we can't wait to get started. I am looking into getting my medical done, get contracts started and she is also in need of an ED. So we have a few things to get started but if all goes well maybe the end of July early Aug. might work? We shall see.
Either way, I am so happy she wants lots of contact before, during and after. She said this would be a deal breaker if I didn't. Well that is all I have ever wanted anyway, so no problem there.
Not sure when we will meet in person, but it's ok with both of us if it's a while. We feel very comfortable with each other and our agency.
So I will keep you all posted as to how things come along.

Sunday

So tomorrow I will have a phone call with my potential match!!
Stephanie and Simple Surrogacy has found me a wonderful single mom that I hope to help. I look forward to talking to her early Sunday morning. If all goes well we may be started asap?
I have been talking to her for a few days via email. The funny thing is I have actually had contact with the IM back in early Dec. I emailed when I saw her on SMO looking to find a GS. With relying on emails that get lost in space my reply back to her never sent. So I thought she just didn't reply back and she must have thought the same thing.
Funny how things work out. It's all good though as I have known Stephanie for a long time and have wanted to work with her agency for a couple years now.
So wish me luck with my call and I hope to make an official announcement soon.

She's here!!!

My beautiful granddaughter is here. Khloe Giselle was born on 5/10/11 at 6:19am She weighed 6.1lbs and 18in. She is a tiny thing but our little Minnie is so darn cute. She looks like her mama when she was a baby.

On a surrogacy note, I may have good news soon. I'll post when I know more.

Things are looking up

I had some wonderful things happen this week. I met a new friend though surrogacy. She is getting ready to try and get pg on her own. She has been such a fun person to talk to and I hope that her wish comes true in a couple weeks.
Then got a special email from someone I have knows for a long time via surrogacy but never got the chance to work with. Now I may get that chance. I'll share more when things are more for sure

Katy had an appointment this week. They are planning to strip her membranes Monday. I hope this works. I really don't want her to be induced. I hate the idea of that and how some end up with a csec. I want her to be lucky and have an easy vag. delivery.
So in about 1-2 weeks I  will have a beautiful granddaughter to love and hold.
Oh by the way the baby shower was a huge success.

Feeling like I am closer

So I feel like I may be closer to having someone help me find a match. I just hope to hear something soon and that I will then be on my way.

This sat. is Katy's baby-shower. I have so much to still do. i hope it's a great day for her and Chason. Not much longer until my little Khloe is her to grace us with her cuteness.lol
It's really nice to see her crib all put together and it set up waiting for her to come home to.
The carseat cover was shipped today. Can't wait to see how it turned out.

Had a good Easter. Tristen had the best time finding eggs.

feeling down

So when I started my search I didn't think it would be this hard and this long. I mean when I first decided to do it again after having baby Tai. I was basically found by my last IP's. Seriously it wasn't even from my add. It was seeing me on smo in my siggy. I got an email and the rest was history. Well until the chose to stop after things didn't got as good as we wished.
So since then I have basically been told I will be very hard to match. Most Ip's want you to have insurance (I understand that but I have since found some to use). I have been told because I had 3 csec, ok well my peri oked me. Since I had GD before, ok but it was controlled by diet not insulin, that my age turns some down, well it's just a year and half older than my last delivery and well heck I can't get younger lol, and my weight, this is not as easy to loose. UGH. After all the meds and babies it's sticking to me like glue. I have tried really I have. I did loose a few but there is more I could loose. The thing is I have been this weight or there about for a few years now and it's never been an issue with the REs they have oked me it's not caused me not to get pg.
I know I am not the "best option" but I'm not the worst either. I know I once they got a chance to know me they would like me. I am am dependable, loyal, loving, funny (ok maybe not to all.lol) caring and giving. I stick by you and give you hope when your feeling down. I lend an ear when you just need to vent. I hold your hand when your scared of what is to come and I jump for joy when you get the best news ever. I am a great surrogate to have. Just need someone to have the chance to know me.

On another note. My TS babe is not a babe anymore. He turns 15 next week!! I just can't even believe how time has flown by since becoming a surrogate.

It's official!

No match for me. I knew it was coming already and so it's not a surprise but still to finally here back from them still stings a little.
Maybe they had talked to the RE's nurse and she told them the RE may not approve me? This could be the reason why I haven't heard from them in days. Why when I did get a reply last week sometime it was very short and nothing informative? I don't know.
Either way their RE said no as she things having 7 babies is too many. This sucks as my own Peri says I am ok and the last RE (Dr. Sher and Dr. Fisch) said I was ok and even did my testing to show it. It is what it is and I can't fix it. I am proud of it. Five of the seven are babies are from surrogacy.
So here I am again looking. I know I will find another couple just wish it wasn't so hard. Hopefully my next post will be of good news.

Waiting.....

So I am still waiting to find out if I am officially matched or not. I really like this couple but there have been a few things that I thought were worked out and ok but are now back in the talks and not so ok.
Working on insurance isn't the most fun part of being a surrogate. I sure wish that insurance co. Would be more open to surrogacy and understand these couples have been through so much all ready to have a baby that adding these stresses isn't right.
We should all be able have coverage no matter who is keeping the baby at the end. Even an adoption is covered but because we planned on having one then it's not.
So until we hear more I guess we are in limbo and I may have to keep looking too. I am not even sure if their clinic will approve me yet. Waiting for the RE to get back in town and review my records.

In other news. My daughter's baby shower in April 30th. I have lots to do and plan but I just have to wait to do most of it in a couple weeks. My co Host is so busy right now with her grandpa in in the hospital with a broken hip, now replaced.

So will see what my next update brings. lol

A New Meeting

I have some news to share. I am going to meet a new couple. They are coming from California tomorrow. I have sent my med. records to their RE and we are waiting for their approval. 

We have agreed on all the important things and are looking forward to getting things going. 

I shall share more once all is "official". 

Feeling close

So lots has been going on. I am not a year older. GULP. I still feel younger than I am and I believe I look younger too. What do you think? I'm the blond. The other is Merinda my second IM.

Merinda came to town to visit me for 3 weeks. It was a lot of fun having her here. We went to Disneyland and just had so much fun. I so enjoy our visits with each other.

For my Bday my last IM, Keiko sent me one of the most thoughtful gifts to get. I got this book made for a child created by surrogacy. She changed the names to fit our's and added photos of her son inside. It really was so wonderful. She plans to read it to her son when he is old enough to start understanding. He is 14 months now. If that wasn't enough she sent me a Tinker Bell shirt for my trip and tinker bubble bath. Then when I got back from my trip I came home to a gift card for a massage and facial at my favorite place.

I have been feeling close to being matched and hope to come report about it soon. Don't want to jinx it now but I think it just might happen. Keep your fingers crossed.

Katy is just over 27 weeks pregnant with my granddaughter. So things are coming along on that. Can't believe how fast it's coming up.

That's all for now.

Feeling a little left behind

It's weird how things work out sometimes. Here I thought of doing another surrogacy about a year ago. Got matched fairly quickly and quite easily. Then after the loss and then the hope for the next cycle, to only be told it was over before it started. I felt like things were going to go just as easily. I was wrong. It hasn't
Now I am still looking (not long in some eyes) but when you are see 2 of my friends whom weren't even really looking now matched (by me) and trying to get pregnant later this month. I feel left behind. Wondering why and what I is to come.
Some of the worst part is replying to adds and either not hearing anything back or to hear back asking you things then nothing at all. It's just rude! I haven't done this to anyone and I hate that it happens to me. I ask that no matter what their thoughts are at least let me know. It would be nice to know that I am not what they are looking for or that they are going to keep looking.