Well I know it's been a while. I haven't felt like dealing with what has happened. So many things have gone on in my life and my head has been spinning.
One Katy is expecting, Two we moved into an house and Katy and Chason have joined us to save money and create some credit up. Three, my journey with my wonderful ip's have come to an end when we were just beginning again.
Stacie had her first u/s after only being on stims for a week. The u/s showed 3 follicles but there were more smaller ones too. The RE said he would have no issues working with her if this was her own cycle as he knows he would get her pregnant. Since it wasn't her own he wasn't sure this was the best case scenario for the ip's to have any to freeze. He was going to call them and discuss it with them but would most likely have her come back in two days. Well we got a call a short time later saying to stop meds they were going to look for a new ED. I was completely shocked to hear this. I just didn't understand how they would say not to take another look in a couple days before quiting so abruptly?
I called and spoke to my IF and he said since this was their last paid cycle with the clinic they didn't want to risk having nothing to transfer. I explained to them that Stacie offered to donate with no payment that day and if I got pg she then would get paid. If I didn't get pg then they didn't pay her. I also said why not just look again and see what's going on before say no? He said they were going to dinner that night and talk about it. It had a very bad morning with other things going on besides this and they needed some time.
The next morning I he sent an email saying they will not be going forward with this cycle and were now thinking of stopping our journey all together. I was so not expecting this. It was the last thing I expected from them as the whole time it's been nothing will stop us, we will continue until we get what we want and that is another baby. So I just couldn't understand what was going on. I knew they were hurt and just felt like things kept going wrong. But if the reason your not moving forward is to save the cycle they paid for then why are you now throwing it away? Why didn't we just take our chances with this one since all the money was spent on meds and their trip to come visit us? Why now after only one transfer with a pg that did happen from it, but just wasn't strong enough to continue? There was just too many things that have brought me to have more questions.
A couple days later I get another email saying sorry but we just need more time. They were going away for the weekend and will let me know what they are planning after that. So Monday came and I got the email that just blew me away, not even a call. It was an email saying thanks but we are just too emotionally drained after doing IVF for 10 years and having their daughter who is 5. They are just done.
I am hurt beyond words from this. I was so dedicated and waited for them to get things going for our second try. The loss was in May, We didn't get to start things until Sept again. I was patient and understanding about the timing for them. Now I feel so lost. I still haven't even wrote back to them. I thought I was worth a phone call. I thought I was worth a better explanation than we are emotionally drained. I do feel bad for them. I do understand they are drained. I just don't get that answer though? There just seems to be something more and I wish I knew and understood. I like to the feeling that there are ways to fix it. I just don't know how to fix this. I really cared for them deeply and wanted to help them so bad.
Now here I am having to start over again. I didn't want to leave my self open to heartache again. It's not easy to find ip's now. I am not great on paper. I am judged by things that may be hard for some to over come but I know they don't cause me any troubles. I am older (40), I have had 3 csec, I have had gest. diabetes (controlled by diet), and 7 babies and my comp isn't outrageous but it's not a first timers comp either) I do have clinics that will work with me but mostly because they know me and see past those things. They know I have had a good history of getting pg. My peri who has delivered my last 3 surrogacies has cleared me to go. I take my pregnancies seriously. I take the whole journey seriously. I truly enjoy being a surrogate.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
WOW! so much has happened
So where to begin? I guess from Sat. The day I did get to start my meds and thought the day was going to be exciting but never imagine just what that meant.
I got a call from my sister asking if I was sitting down. Ya why? She starting crying and said that Lita was being put to sleep in a couple hours and we should come say good bye. Lita was our rottweiler that we raised since she was a baby. We had to move into a place we couldn't take her and so my mom kept her for us and when we had the room we just couldn't see moving her back and forth so my mom kept her there. She was 9 and had started getting ill this week. They ran lots of test and well everything was shutting down. So it was time to say good bye.
Tyson loved her so much but didn't want to see her like that so he stayed home with the baby. Katy and I went and got to give her some love and hold her for a bit. She was the best dog, so gentle and well mannered.
When Katy and I left she asked if we could stop by the dress shop and try on wedding dresses. So we did as this would get our minds of things.
She tried on a pretty dress but she wasn't happy with it. So she tried on another, I could see her expression this was the dress. She was in love and I have to say it looked like it was made just for her. We loved. it. She still tried on a couple more to make sure and still came back to this one. So we were told the cost of $998 and that it was a dress not on their website or in magazines as it's a demo. Ok so we then thought even though it's a great price we were only there for fun and would continue to look. Then another associate come over and said the dress was discontinued and this one was the only one available and that price had dropped. They walked away to see how much and Katy and I were like hope it's good. But she was scared as she didn't want to miss out on this dress now. They came back with $495 as the cost and only half down to keep it. WOW! that is incredible so we now have her wedding dress.lol
So that was an unexpected thing to happen but sure put a smile on both our faces.lol
So later in night Katy called me just after 11pm to inform me her best friend's dad passed. I felt terrible for them and she was so sad. I tried to comfort her on the phone and decided Sunday she would come over and we would make a dinner to bring her friend's family.
Sunday came and Katy came to cook up some dinner. We then went to pick her finance up and we stopped by to bring them dinner. The friend's grandma use to rent a house to us and had a letter from the city for me. Oh wow what's that about as I haven't lived in the house in over 4 years. Can you believe I got a check from them for $540? I was shocked. Guess when I was in a car accident and they sent me to the county hospital they made some billing errors and they presently did an audit and I got lucky to get the check. Weird how that worked out huh?
So last night (Tues 9/14/10) Katy calls me again at 11:30pm to let me know she just did a pregnancy test and it was positive. What a way to be woken up huh? We talked for a bit as she was crying as she was now worried about lots of stuff. I told her it would all work out and not to worry. So I guess this means I am going to have another grand baby. I am happy, wish it wasn't like this but hey things happen for a reason right? The funny things is if/when I get pregnant in a couple weeks we will only be like a month apart. How strange that will be.
I got a call from my sister asking if I was sitting down. Ya why? She starting crying and said that Lita was being put to sleep in a couple hours and we should come say good bye. Lita was our rottweiler that we raised since she was a baby. We had to move into a place we couldn't take her and so my mom kept her for us and when we had the room we just couldn't see moving her back and forth so my mom kept her there. She was 9 and had started getting ill this week. They ran lots of test and well everything was shutting down. So it was time to say good bye.
Tyson loved her so much but didn't want to see her like that so he stayed home with the baby. Katy and I went and got to give her some love and hold her for a bit. She was the best dog, so gentle and well mannered.
When Katy and I left she asked if we could stop by the dress shop and try on wedding dresses. So we did as this would get our minds of things.
She tried on a pretty dress but she wasn't happy with it. So she tried on another, I could see her expression this was the dress. She was in love and I have to say it looked like it was made just for her. We loved. it. She still tried on a couple more to make sure and still came back to this one. So we were told the cost of $998 and that it was a dress not on their website or in magazines as it's a demo. Ok so we then thought even though it's a great price we were only there for fun and would continue to look. Then another associate come over and said the dress was discontinued and this one was the only one available and that price had dropped. They walked away to see how much and Katy and I were like hope it's good. But she was scared as she didn't want to miss out on this dress now. They came back with $495 as the cost and only half down to keep it. WOW! that is incredible so we now have her wedding dress.lol
So that was an unexpected thing to happen but sure put a smile on both our faces.lol
So later in night Katy called me just after 11pm to inform me her best friend's dad passed. I felt terrible for them and she was so sad. I tried to comfort her on the phone and decided Sunday she would come over and we would make a dinner to bring her friend's family.
Sunday came and Katy came to cook up some dinner. We then went to pick her finance up and we stopped by to bring them dinner. The friend's grandma use to rent a house to us and had a letter from the city for me. Oh wow what's that about as I haven't lived in the house in over 4 years. Can you believe I got a check from them for $540? I was shocked. Guess when I was in a car accident and they sent me to the county hospital they made some billing errors and they presently did an audit and I got lucky to get the check. Weird how that worked out huh?
Friday, September 10, 2010
excited, sad, hopeful
Excited tomorrow is the big day to start my meds! I sent an email letting my Ip's know that in June they would hopefully have a baby to bring home. It seemed to mean a lot to them. He sent an email to me and I think it's starting to sink in that this could be our winning cycle.
Sad, my daughter Katy has to hurt right now. Her best friend's dad is being removed from life support. They say he may stay a live a few days but will not survive. She wants me and her dad to come say good bye to him, but we barely knew him. I then realized she just needs us for support for her and so we need to come. It breaks my heart she is hurting for her friend and she has known him for many years.
Hopeful, that we can help a special little girl with cancer. To help raise funds there is a way to get something out of it too. If your planning a trip to WDW you don't want to pass this deal up. You can rent a house with a private pool for just $85 a night or $95 during peak dates. 20% of this will be donated to the Hailey fund if you mention her name. See links below to learn about her and the rental.
http://www.mickeysmagicalmanor.com/
Sad, my daughter Katy has to hurt right now. Her best friend's dad is being removed from life support. They say he may stay a live a few days but will not survive. She wants me and her dad to come say good bye to him, but we barely knew him. I then realized she just needs us for support for her and so we need to come. It breaks my heart she is hurting for her friend and she has known him for many years.
Hopeful, that we can help a special little girl with cancer. To help raise funds there is a way to get something out of it too. If your planning a trip to WDW you don't want to pass this deal up. You can rent a house with a private pool for just $85 a night or $95 during peak dates. 20% of this will be donated to the Hailey fund if you mention her name. See links below to learn about her and the rental.
http://www.mickeysmagicalmanor.com/
hopeforhaileykent.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
ED starts meds
So tomorrow morning Stacie starts her meds. It's the lupron this will help suppress her ovaries so they can do what the RE wants them to do. I know she is glad to be getting things going as our the ip's and I. It seems like it's been forever.
So we had our loss end of May. Thought we would move quickly into July but ip's needed to wait for Sept. Ok fine waiting is something I learned how to deal with. But we all thought that would mean a transfer for Sept. But this wasn't the case. The RE starts you in Sept but the retrieval and transfer is for the fist week of Oct. Weird how that works huh?
So anyway, we are starting so I am happy.
So let me tell you some about my relationship with ip's. I talk mainly to IF (99%). I think I spoke to IM two times but maybe just once? She is very sweet but he is the one who is outgoing and she is quite shy. I know most would be put off by this, but I am not bothered. He is supper easy to talk to. I really enjoy how openess and if I wonder how they are feeling he will not hesitate to tell me they are scared, nervous, excited, working hard to keep the money flowing for all the bills.lol Seriously, when you work indy it's important to be able to talk this stuff.
He shares stories of their lives, their DD and love for Hooters.lol I think they picked me because they can come to Hooter's in Vegas.JK. See it's joking around like that that makes it fun. They are going to be supper nervous when I get preg. I know they will be more worried than they may say to me. I can't imagine how hard it will be the closer I get the 20 weeks. Then each hour/day/week/month past that it might sink in that this baby will actually get to go home with them.
I kind of think the good things of this are she has experienced this. She knows what I am going to go through for them. Not all my ip's know this prior. Some never had to do it they couldn't carry for reason's of no uterus, cancer, past the age to conceive and do to health risk. I did have one who did IVF on herself many times and this one will be the only to have done it on her self/ and carried a babies.
Wanted to share more.
The photo is of Stacie and I with my youngest Katy and her son Austin. She loves Disney too.
Stacie and I are trying to see if a quick trip to Cal. will work for this weekend. I won a vip pass for 4 to view the new World of Color at Cal Adventure. It's not a full day pass but it's still a way to enjoy a bit of Disney. Scrunching numbers but still not a final yes or now.lol I know not much time right?
If we go it will be her son Austin, my grandson Tristen, Stacie and I (hey my spelling and proper Eng. isn't the best, but it's my blog and if I mess up you know what I am trying to say right?LOL)
Oh I also found out today I will be moving into the house we wanted. Finally got an answer. It's nice knowing but OMG it's a lot of money to move. You just thing oh not too much, but then you sit and think, gotta get a truck, more packing supplies, more deposits for bills and home, need to pay to have a carpet guy do old place, need to get more cleaning stuff. See it's enough to make anyone's head spin. I bet I am not even listing everything.
Oh and my youngest DD Katy and her now Fiancée want to get married next Sept. Will see if they stick to this date but for now that's the talk. We have planned our Disney Cruise for 9/11/11. So I think they will do it on the 3rd and then the next week is the trip.
I always plan to do something Disney with my family after each Surrogacy. See my title comes in handy? I was blessed with ip's who made this happen. First ones sent us to WDW, second to Disneyland, Third Disney Cruise and WDW all paid by them. They really spoiled me. My fourth and fifth ip's also spoiled me but I was blessed by them in other ways. Well not really my fourth as we don't talk since she was 3 weeks (prior to that great). My fifth keeps me happy as she continues to make me feel like her friend. But she has given me some really special gifts and memories.
So to continue my Disney tradition I did it myself with pleasure. My fourth was a Disney Cruise but not the whole family. DH and oldest stayed home as Brit just had Tristen. And my fifth was to WDW just DH, me and Tristen's first Disney trip.
Oh and you will find I ramble on sometimes. It really makes more since in my head I swear.lol
So we had our loss end of May. Thought we would move quickly into July but ip's needed to wait for Sept. Ok fine waiting is something I learned how to deal with. But we all thought that would mean a transfer for Sept. But this wasn't the case. The RE starts you in Sept but the retrieval and transfer is for the fist week of Oct. Weird how that works huh?
So anyway, we are starting so I am happy.
So let me tell you some about my relationship with ip's. I talk mainly to IF (99%). I think I spoke to IM two times but maybe just once? She is very sweet but he is the one who is outgoing and she is quite shy. I know most would be put off by this, but I am not bothered. He is supper easy to talk to. I really enjoy how openess and if I wonder how they are feeling he will not hesitate to tell me they are scared, nervous, excited, working hard to keep the money flowing for all the bills.lol Seriously, when you work indy it's important to be able to talk this stuff.
He shares stories of their lives, their DD and love for Hooters.lol I think they picked me because they can come to Hooter's in Vegas.JK. See it's joking around like that that makes it fun. They are going to be supper nervous when I get preg. I know they will be more worried than they may say to me. I can't imagine how hard it will be the closer I get the 20 weeks. Then each hour/day/week/month past that it might sink in that this baby will actually get to go home with them.
I kind of think the good things of this are she has experienced this. She knows what I am going to go through for them. Not all my ip's know this prior. Some never had to do it they couldn't carry for reason's of no uterus, cancer, past the age to conceive and do to health risk. I did have one who did IVF on herself many times and this one will be the only to have done it on her self/ and carried a babies.
The photo is of Stacie and I with my youngest Katy and her son Austin. She loves Disney too.
Stacie and I are trying to see if a quick trip to Cal. will work for this weekend. I won a vip pass for 4 to view the new World of Color at Cal Adventure. It's not a full day pass but it's still a way to enjoy a bit of Disney. Scrunching numbers but still not a final yes or now.lol I know not much time right?
If we go it will be her son Austin, my grandson Tristen, Stacie and I (hey my spelling and proper Eng. isn't the best, but it's my blog and if I mess up you know what I am trying to say right?LOL)
Oh I also found out today I will be moving into the house we wanted. Finally got an answer. It's nice knowing but OMG it's a lot of money to move. You just thing oh not too much, but then you sit and think, gotta get a truck, more packing supplies, more deposits for bills and home, need to pay to have a carpet guy do old place, need to get more cleaning stuff. See it's enough to make anyone's head spin. I bet I am not even listing everything.
Oh and my youngest DD Katy and her now Fiancée want to get married next Sept. Will see if they stick to this date but for now that's the talk. We have planned our Disney Cruise for 9/11/11. So I think they will do it on the 3rd and then the next week is the trip.
I always plan to do something Disney with my family after each Surrogacy. See my title comes in handy? I was blessed with ip's who made this happen. First ones sent us to WDW, second to Disneyland, Third Disney Cruise and WDW all paid by them. They really spoiled me. My fourth and fifth ip's also spoiled me but I was blessed by them in other ways. Well not really my fourth as we don't talk since she was 3 weeks (prior to that great). My fifth keeps me happy as she continues to make me feel like her friend. But she has given me some really special gifts and memories.
So to continue my Disney tradition I did it myself with pleasure. My fourth was a Disney Cruise but not the whole family. DH and oldest stayed home as Brit just had Tristen. And my fifth was to WDW just DH, me and Tristen's first Disney trip.
Oh and you will find I ramble on sometimes. It really makes more since in my head I swear.lol
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My first attempt at a blog
Hello, my name is Michele. I am a wife, mother of two girls 20/19 years old and one grandson who is turning 2.
I have been doing surrogacy for many years now. I love what it's brought to my life and what I have done to help too.
So I thought beings this should be my very last time at being a surrogate I should keep a blog about it. It's funny how much you forget. I think it also has something to do with how many babies I have had that have sucky my brain cells.LOL
TSX1-Boy-4/96
GSX1-Girl-8/03
GSX2-Boy-2/06
GSX3-Girl-10/07
GSX4-Boy-10/09
Now I am cycling again with a pending transfer around the 6h of Oct. My IP's are from FL and have a little girl. They really are a great couple. They have tried having a sibling but after 2 late losses at 20 weeks they decided it's best to get a GS (me). They even have my best friend Stacie as their ED. So with any luck will be pregnant.
This will actually be our second try. We did a cycle in April with frozen embryos from a prior ED. We did get pregnant but never saw a heart beat. We did see what looked to be a embryo that may have been splitting but it wasn't meant to be.
I start my meds on the 11th of Sept.
I hope you all stick around to see how things go.
I have been doing surrogacy for many years now. I love what it's brought to my life and what I have done to help too.
So I thought beings this should be my very last time at being a surrogate I should keep a blog about it. It's funny how much you forget. I think it also has something to do with how many babies I have had that have sucky my brain cells.LOL
TSX1-Boy-4/96
GSX1-Girl-8/03
GSX2-Boy-2/06
GSX3-Girl-10/07
GSX4-Boy-10/09
Now I am cycling again with a pending transfer around the 6h of Oct. My IP's are from FL and have a little girl. They really are a great couple. They have tried having a sibling but after 2 late losses at 20 weeks they decided it's best to get a GS (me). They even have my best friend Stacie as their ED. So with any luck will be pregnant.
This will actually be our second try. We did a cycle in April with frozen embryos from a prior ED. We did get pregnant but never saw a heart beat. We did see what looked to be a embryo that may have been splitting but it wasn't meant to be.
I start my meds on the 11th of Sept.
I hope you all stick around to see how things go.
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